Everyday culture

Chopstick etiquette and Japanese table manners: what to do, and the few things never to do

Everyday culture · Published 2026-10-16

Japanese table manners have a reputation for being complicated. In practice, people are forgiving with visitors, and most of what matters can be learned in a few minutes: a phrase before and after eating, a few ways of handling bowls, and two chopstick gestures to avoid because they belong to funerals. The rest is the ordinary courtesy of sharing a table.

Before and after the meal

Itadakimasu, said with hands together or a small bow, literally means "I humbly receive". It is a thanks for the food, the people who produced and prepared it, and, in the traditional explanation, the lives of the plants and animals eaten. Gochisōsama deshita, said at the end, thanks the person who prepared or paid for the meal. Both are used at home, in restaurants and at school lunch, where children say them together.

Holding and resting chopsticks

The lower chopstick rests still in the base of the thumb and on the ring finger; the upper one is held like a pen and moves to pinch food. When you are not using them, place them on the chopstick rest (hashioki) with the tips to the left, or, if there is none, on the edge of your tray or on the paper sleeve folded into a rest. At the end of the meal, put them back on the rest or in the sleeve.

The chopstick taboos

Other habits are considered bad manners rather than taboo:

When taking food from shared dishes, use serving chopsticks if provided. If not, some people turn their own chopsticks around and use the clean ends, though not everyone considers this correct; asking for a small plate (torizara) is always fine.

Bowls, soup and noodles

• Lift small bowls. Rice and soup bowls are picked up and held at chest level while eating; leaning down to the table is considered less polite. Large plates stay on the table.
• Drink soup from the bowl, using chopsticks to hold back or pick up the ingredients. Spoons are used for some dishes, such as ramen, curry and chawanmushi.
• Slurp noodles. Soba, udon and ramen are slurped; it cools the noodles and is said to bring out the aroma. Nobody expects it of you, but nobody will mind.
• Replace lids on lidded bowls when you finish, as they came.
• Finish your rice. Leaving a few grains can be seen as wasteful; leaving a whole dish untouched is better explained than left.

Sushi, soy sauce and wasabi

Nigiri sushi can be eaten with fingers or chopsticks. Turn the piece and dip the fish, not the rice, lightly in soy sauce. At sushi counters, the chef often seasons pieces already, in which case no soy sauce is needed. Pour only a little soy sauce into your dish at a time. Our guide to soy sauce types explains why different sauces exist.

Types of chopsticks

Japanese chopsticks are usually shorter than Chinese ones and taper to fine points, which helps with picking bones from fish. At home, each person often has their own pair, sometimes in a length that suits their hand, and lacquered wooden chopsticks are a common gift. Restaurants provide disposable wooden waribashi, joined at the top and split before use. Don't rub them together to remove splinters, which suggests the restaurant's chopsticks are cheap; if there is a splinter, simply remove it. Children often learn with training chopsticks, and many families have special chopsticks for New Year, rounded at both ends so that one end is used by people and the other, symbolically, by the gods.

Drinks

At a meal with others, don't fill your own glass first: pour for the people next to you, and someone will pour for you. Wait for the toast, kanpai, before drinking. If you don't want more, leave your glass full.

Paying and tipping

Tipping is not customary in Japan, and trying to leave money can cause confusion. In many restaurants you take the bill to the register at the entrance. Some places add a table charge (otōshi, usually with a small appetizer) or a service charge at higher-end restaurants. Saying gochisōsama deshita to the staff on your way out is the thanks they expect.

At someone's home

Home meals are more relaxed, but the basics stay: say the phrases, wait to be told where to sit, and offer to help. Bringing a small gift is common when visiting; our guide to gift-giving explains what to bring.

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