What do you wear to a shiva?

What do you wear to a shiva?

The dress code for a Shiva visit—The most important thing to remember about your dress—be respectful. It’s better to err on the conservative side. Men should wear long pants and women are best advised to wear long skirts and long-sleeved shirts.

Do you bring cards to shiva?

If you cannot make a shiva call in person, it is also appropriate to send a card or write a letter because the most important gift that you can provide to a friend in grief is your presence.

Can I wash my hair during Shiva?

Washing During Shiva and Shloshim. To wash just his face, hands and feet, hot water is prohibited but cold water is permitted. Washing in hot water is prohibited the entire 30-day mourning period (shloshim), even just to shampoo one’s hair.

Can you shower during Shiva?

Many traditional Shiva restrictions include no wearing of new clothes, no shaving for men, no washing clothes, no bathing.

What can you not say at a Shiva house?


  • “How are you?” (They’re not so good.)
  • “I know how you feel.” (No you don’t.
  • “At least she lived a long life.” (Longer would have been better.)
  • “It’s good that you have other children,” or, “Don’t worry, you’ll have more.” (The loss of a child, no matter what age, is completely devastating.)

Can I shower during Shiva?

When can you shave after shloshim?

30 days
Do not cut your nails for the first 30 days of mourning. Exception: Women mourners may cut their nails before going to the mikva. If you shave regularly (can be every day or a few times each week), you may shave after 30 days but not within 30 even if for non-parent and certainly not for a parent.

Can you bring flowers to a Shiva?

Send a card or food-a shiva gift basket. Never send flowers! Shiva gifts should be foods that are well liked by many (don’t forget young kids, if they are part of the mourning family) and easy to serve.

Why do you cover mirrors during Shiva?

Covering mirrors in the house of shiva is a common practice for many people. Mirrors are also covered as a way to remind us the observation of shiva is not about ourselves but rather a time to concentrate on the deceased.

Can you cut your hair during Shiva?

During shiva the following acts are prohibited for the mourners: Leaving the house, except to go to synagogue on Shabbat, or even during the week if there is no minyan at the shiva house. Work or any business pursuits. Shaving or haircuts.

What is forbidden during shiva?

What do you bring as gift to friends sitting shiva?

If you are interested in sending a shiva gift, first find the location of the shiva and then be sure your gift will arrive during the week-long period. Shiva baskets typically contain baked goods, dried fruit, nuts, fresh fruits and/or chocolates . The food items in a shiva basket are designed to provide nourishment and energy to those sitting shiva for the entire seven days.

What are the customs of sitting shiva?

Sitting Shiva is the tradition of mourning in the Jewish religion . Gathering together as a community is at the core of sitting Shiva, just as it is at the core of many Jewish traditions. The strength and support of friends, family and neighbors when sitting Shiva plays a key role in helping the bereaved through the process of grieving.

What are the rules for sitting shiva?

Sitting on Regular Chairs. A mourner should not sit on a regular chair, stool, recliner, or couch during the Shiva. He may, however, sit on a low stool or crate, but it should not be higher than three tefachim (approximately 9.5 inches) from the ground.

What is it like to sit shiva?

The practice of sitting shiva provides a time for mourning. To honor this, direct-family mourners do not try to get anything done, instead; they rely on the community to bring them food or do their chores. Traditionally, they do not bathe, work, engage in pleasurable activities, or try to distract themselves…