Tag Archives: ie

My You’ve Gotten Fat or Isn’t Japan Supposed to be Polite?

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For those of you who don’t know, I spent my first three years in Japan living on Kitadaito Island.  Kitadaito is a small island 320km east of the mainland of Okinawa.  While I was there, I experienced the close community of rural Japan, and started writing.  A bit over a year ago, I moved to Kumejima which his far larger.  Since this is my last year with the JET Programme, I decided to visit Kitadaito during their annual Daitogusai Festival.  While I still stayed in contact with many people from Kitadaito, and even saw them occasionally on the mainland, it was the first time I had really seen everyone in over a year.

A year might not seem like a long time to you, but in Japan things can change a lot.  Teachers, doctors, and other civil servants often change jobs every few years.  On Kitadaito, Junior High graduates have to leave the island since there is no high school for them.  So even though it had only been a year, some students and friends were gone, many students had gotten bigger or changed, and there were new people to meet.

Perhaps most surprising was the fact that I had changed too.  When I came to Japan I weighed 80kg (that’s 176lbs for all you non-metric people).  If you’ve read Samurai Awakening, you probably figured out I played a lot of sports while I was there, and with all the running and sports festivals, I kept in decent shape.  Things change though

Back to Daito

So last month, I went back to Kitadaito for 5 days.  Nearly the first thing, every single person said to me was “太った” (futotta).  Now if you plug that into Google Translate, you’ll get a translation of “Fat” with alternatives of “Chubby” and “Plump.”

Why did literally at least 15 people say this to me on my first day back?  Well because when I went I was about 91kg (200lbs).  But aren’t Japanese people supposed to be polite?  Don’t they ignore stuff so that they can live through dealing with stuffed subway cars and close quarters?  Strangely enough, there’s a lot going on in that simple little phrase, and a lot of different meanings.

My You’re Fat

I’m not a kanji (the complicated Chinese symbols used in Japanese writing) expert, but one of the first 100 kanji you’ll learn if you begin studying Japanese is “Big” 大.  It’s relatively simple, and if you take a look at the kanji for fat 太 you can kind of see where they’re going with it.  Big.. Fat.. kind of looks like a guy with a belly button sticking out or something.  But the closeness between these two characters leads to an interesting point about Japanese language.  The same word can often have many different meanings depending on the situation.  Were they really calling me fat? or are electronic translators still not real great at nuance?  I’ll let you decide.  Below are two pictures.  One from when I left Kitadaito, and one a bit over a year later when I returned.  While I definitely did grow in weight, that was also at the end of training for 5 Okinawan Sumo competitions.

July 2011

July 2012

 

More on Politeness in Japan

Perhaps the more interesting question is not my weight, but instead why so many people commented on a recognized change.  It is true that in Japan most people often equate the distance among strangers that is common in Japan with politeness.  There’s a definite need to ignore some things in close quarters to make society run smoothly.  When I went back, I was talking to people who I considered friends, and many of them I have now known for more than 4 years.  Perhaps most of the people I met are just simply comfortable enough with me to comment.  Some maybe wanted to say something, and jumped on an obvious change as a talking point (this relates to the “You can use chopsticks!?” deal many expats have encountered).

There is also likely a bit of that socializing effect you can sometimes spot in Japan.  The Japanese have their own proverb, “The nail that stands up gets knocked down.”  There are almost subconscious social pressures in Japan to be homogeneous, that is the same.  In reality, Japan is full of diversity, but sometimes people in the same “in-group” will comment on differences, almost as a way of letting someone know their difference is noted.  You can take this as a good or bad thing depending on your perspective.  But I’d want a warning if I was about to be knocked down.  Looking back on Japanese history, you can see that in a village where sword-toting overlords might hack off a head that stood to tall, you might want to warn your friend before they stood out too much.  Those aspects of Japanese Culture are still around, and can often be misunderstood by westerners, especially since so much of it happens subconsciously.

For my part,  I did the whole spectrum from amused, to annoyed, to a little angry, to finally understanding  another aspect of Japanese culture (I’m slow.. It took all 15 on the first day.. and some more on the second, and so on).   In the end, it was simply great to be back, and I suspect there was a mix of reasons behind the phrase.  I choose to take it as “Hey you got buff! Why do you still lose Sumo?”

In and Out: More on Social Dynamics in Japan

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Terms

家(ie) – house ,home, family, residence, building, dwelling, residency, habitation

外(soto) – out, outside, other place

*translations from http://www.translate.google.com

A Bit of History

Japan’s social dynamics, like many counties, revolves around the delineation of the individual, that smallest grouping  we  identify as self.  For most westerners, the idea of self is clear.  We are the individual, each person an independent unit.  Over long years, and in many places, we have been relatively free to wander and roam.  Humanity has always pushed out, we are designed to survive, to seek out and expand our numbers so that no one destruction would wipe out the whole.  Darwin would tell us that those of us with the greatest tendency towards independence would strike out to find new lands, ever-expanding humanity’s range.  Later we learned to live as groups, as families, as cities.  Though independent we are also drawn to each other by a myriad factors, yet, there is still urban sprawl.  Cities are ever expanding as people seek out a bit of their own land, their own, individual life.

What would happen to those early adventurers if something happened to make a group more important than even oneself?  We see it with parents.  They willingly sacrifice for their children, though this can be explained as a necessity to continue the species.  People in the military, firefighters, police officers, and others routinely risk themselves for others.  Sure, there are benefits, and most assume they are safe enough, given the rewards.  Some at least, are willing to make that sacrifice, be it for duty, pride, or religion.  These are learned traits, bestowed by the socialization process to ensure there are those few who will ensure the rest can live in peace.

In Japan, though, something happened hundreds of years ago that affected the social dynamics of the people as a whole.  Rice.  In the Jomon period and before, the Japanese people were nomads, hunting and gathering through the islands.  When agriculture was introduced, ever-larger groups were formed because of the amount of work required to eek a living from the soil.  Rice was even more labor intensive, requiring a restructuring of the land into paddies.  Villages grew up around the most fertile and easily used land.  The people jointly owned the woods and fields, worked together to feed the whole.  An island, only few areas were suitable to rice farming, and those prospered.  Some groups coveted the land of others, and eventually, the role of the Samurai was created.  Protectors and warriors, they grew ever in importance, yet they were separate from the villagers.  The farmers toiled in the mud and muck, and as war became ever more specialized, the warriors became a different breed, a different class.

Feudalism and war created new social pressures to formalize and solidify the process that had begun years before.  Families became multi-generational institutions locked by class into specific work.  Villages were semi-autonomous, yet had to pay tribute/tax in rice as a whole.  Thus if one farm or house suffered, the entire village suffered as a whole.

The Resulting Dynamics

The result from Japan’s unique history and culture is a complex system of “in” and “out” that still drives how many people in Japan interact with each other.  Often in Japan there is no clear cut, “I’m me, You’re you.”

ie – Who  is inside?  Who is part of yourself, your family, your identity?  In old Japan, it might have been your household, which could easily include four or more generations.  It might mean the village that you depended on for protection from fire, to cultivate new lands, to find husbands and wives for your children.  Very rarely, it might have even included the larger ‘state’ in which you lived, if only because you paid your rice to them, and hoped they protected you from being conscripted into a war.

In today’s world, the definition is tighter, generally relating only to yourself and immediate family, though there are many exceptions given the situation.  When talking about co-workers to someone outside (soto) your co-workers might suddenly be your ie.  Within a family, the dynamics are even more apparent.  In your household, you might be ie, while your siblings and parents would be soto, yet when an outsider is present, they are soto, and your family is ie.

Among friends and classmates?  If you’re part of a group, in Japan it often becomes your ie while dealing with outside individuals.  There is a sense of obligation, often built over years of gift-giving and shared experience.  For Japanese, it’s a subconscious thing, a change that happens naturally given the situation.  Even the language supports the separation, with many using the humble form when talking about the ie and the honorific when speaking to or about the soto.  The fluid change between in and out can be hard for the un-indoctrinated to follow, yet at its most simplistic, ie is whoever you feel is part of your “group” at any given time.

The effects of being “in” can be shocking to those not expecting it.  At Japanese parties, everyone pays the same amount, no matter how little or much you eat and drink.  Old women or even local shopkeepers might thrust food or vegetables upon you for no apparent reason.  Your neighbor might swipe a few carrots from your garden without asking.  The lines between individual and group blur because the basic preconceptions about what is an individual is different.

soto - With a somewhat more clear understanding of ie (it changes) then soto is far easier to define.  It is the foreign.  Everything and everyone else not included in your “in” group at any particular time.  Just as the warrior class, the samurai, became both outside to the villager, and inside versus the marauding armies of another town or country, your boss might be in or out depending on if you are talking to a coworker or client.

In today’s Japan, the social distinctions are not as clear or regimented as they were in the past; however, the past has a strong influence on the socialization of new generations.  Japan is still isolated in an ever-integrating world.  Its ability to keep its unique culture and identity, despite wars and the internet, is a testament to the ingrained idea of one’s identity being connected to, and part of, other groups.

This is a wide subject in the study of Japan.  History, language, culture:  All of it combines in this one subject.  I hope this gives you an interesting introduction into the world of Japan’s social workings.  Don’t be afraid, most of these things are subtle, and many Japanese have had enough exposure to western culture to ignore our insistence on a view of “us and them.”

For those on the outside in Japan, you will mostly find a distance that is hard to break.  While the “in” is more inclusive than western culture, it takes a lot of work and time to become an insider.  Most likely, you will get more formal language, and shorter responses.  If you are not part of any group in Japan it can quickly become a very lonely place.  You might not even realize why you feel lonely.  The lack of quick relationships means that its harder to make friends.  Once you do begin to be accepted, you acquire both the benefits and responsibilities of being “in.”

The Group Identity

Just as the whole village could be punished for one household failing to pay a rice tax, so too is there still a strong group identity.  The actions of any part of a group, large or small, have an impact on the whole.  This is another reason why any group (be it an individual, organization, or team), are more reluctant to accept new members easily.  Once part of the group you have the same potential to disgrace the group as any other part.  Many in Japan find it hard to quit teams once they start, because there is an underlying obligation, a mutual obligation among the parts of a group that binds it together in Japan.

There are also great benefits.  Any part of the group can share in the accomplishments of the other.  Good news is shared just as easily.  Because there is a bond among the parts (albeit of varying degrees depending on the closeness to an individual), the other members of a group will have the same feelings of obligation towards you, and will help you if they can.  Like any relationship, these relationships require work to maintain and grow.

In the past, the group identity gave Japan an edge in business, while creating stable work for thousands of “salarymen.”  Japan has changed over the last few decades, being influenced by the changing world economy, but still the underlying aspects of this unique social characteristic are present, even subtly in the most western seeming Japanese.  It is, I think, one of those hard-to-define characteristics that together are Japanese.

Thanks to Neave for the prompt!  Email me your questions or concerns!

Japanese Culture – Indirectness and Social Organization

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In Japan, people generally do not come up to you and ask, “do you want to go to a party?”  Instead, many Japanese people with an invitation opt for a more round about approach.  They may ask if you are busy or try to find out if you have plans for a certain day or time, without first mentioning they would like to go out.  If you say you are free then they might give you the invitation.  This has led to many Japanese people giving somewhat confusing answers to the question “are you free?”

Instead of saying “yes” or “no” as a westerner might, the Japanese are much more likely to say (an equivalent translation) “I’m kinda busy” when they might actually be quite free and are simply “screening” your statement.  Often they might be worried you are asking them to do some work, or other unsavory outing.  While they might be happy to go out, for them it is better to hedge their bets.

You might say that it is not so strange, that people in the states will often do the same thing when inviting someone out.  While it is true that indirectness is not a Japanese only phenomena, the inclination to be indirect is far more pervasive in Japanese society.  Even in the language, one would almost never use the word あなた (anata) or “you” to anyone but a lover or extremely close friend, referring to someone as you is too direct, to informal.

The indirectness in Japanese conversations and even actions can be traced to traditional social organizations.  Since the main social object tends to be a group instead of the individual, many Japanese tend to react in relation to whether someone is inside or outside of their particular grouping.

In Japan, the ie is your family group.  It includes yourself and those you consider to be your direct family, while everyone else is soto or outside.  The ie is like a ripple of water expanding away from you, the further away it gets, the weaker the ie is connected to a person.  For example: your father would definitely be in your ie. A co-worker unrelated to you may also be in your ie if you are dealing with a work situation with someone outside your workplace, however, the connection and thus your statements would not be as strong.

So how does the social organization in Japan relate to directness?  Since the social organization has been in Japan so long, it has saturated nearly every aspect of Japanese society.  The class systems of the Tokugawa era and before solidified people already conditioned to think in an “us vs. them” mentality  into a hierarchy.  As “them” became potentially higher status (and since ‘them’ often had swords to back it up), one would have to speak in a respectful manner outside the ie AND up the status hierarchy.  This also means that one would have to speak modestly ABOUT the ie, while still speaking respectfully to those above within the ie.

The class system created an atmosphere where it was rude to directly refer to others, be it group or person.  Hence, in Japan today people are still indirect in their dealings, especially with people they do not know well.  That is not to say outside cultures have not influenced Japan, and that all people will talk about the weather before inviting you somewhere.   As anywhere there are people who work completely outside the social norm.  What is more, thanks to the JET programme and other organizations, more Japanese than ever before are more aware of Western cultures, and so may more easily and directly deal with westerners.